The Good Old Days

Ah the memories...

Nobody offers you more- Banhammer!!!

It seems the almighty Bungie Banhammer is already in action, over 15,000 players on Halo Reach have had their credits reset to zero and have also received a one day ban for exploiting network hacks to receive massive amounts of credits. This makes me happy for 2 reasons: a) I hate cheaters; and b) NO ONE IS ALLOWED INCLEMENT WEATHER UNTIL I HAVE IT.

Viral Zombies

Homicidal hologram

Humaneka?

With the doomsday that is Kinect's launch day inbound, Microsoft has taken it upon themselves to woo japan and has, looking at the image above FAILED. Looking at the image though, it does look like you can play as a destroyer droid in the Star wars game.

UNSC- Man Cave

I'm sure any men reading this will be thinking 'aaaaaall riiight', but our female counterparts will not be so impressed. And I also reckon that this guy will not be bringing any girls there if he ever fancies some action, EVER!! But at least he has his 150 inch screen to comfort him.

Surprise, Surprise!!

A recent survey has shown that only 2% of brits actually want 3DTV. WOW! It's like people actually don't want to have to wear glasses when they watch their TV. People rejoice! Common sense won today's battle; but beware as it is far from winning the 3D war.

Deliver Hope

Nuf said.

Two Steps From Hell & One Closer to Halloween...

With Halloween only a mere 2 months away, I though right about now should be the time where I start deciding what to wear when I go out to terrorise the neighborhood. Well, with my favorite game of the year Mass Effect sprang to mind and then I saw these pictures and realised it must be fate! Now I only have to find my squad. Might start at Omega...

Call of Duty: BO* multiplayer Teaser

New Call of Duty: Modern Black Ops footage has been released showing it's revolutionary multiplayer mode. I'm sure many people will go out this autumn (fall, for our friends across the pond) and purchase this game purely based on the words 'Call of Duty' on the box. But I doubt many have seen the footage and so they will not of thought "hang on, this looks a bit like that Modern Warfare 2". Yes yes, Treyarch will say "Look! There's a crossbow and an explosive R/C car!" but please Activision, stop just copying game, after game, after game. Get one studio to make the game and make them focus on quality, not time and quality. Do what EA is doing with multiplayer and make it virtually unplayable without a one off payment. Oh, and throw some holy water over Kotick. Thanks

Also, just noticed the little video at the end, this makes me even more sad since everyone will think CoD introduced this feature! GRRRR GETTING ANGRY NOW!!!

*Credit for the BO gag goes to AwF x F4iiLZz AKA Ryan Spencer

Google Street Zombie: Destroying the Zombie Horde in Your Neighborhood

With all the newspapers in the world absolutely furious at the prospect of people being able to see the outside of your house on the internet, Google needed to find more practical application for it's Street View system than assisting route finding and navigation. Therefore, they have partnered with Virgin Trains (A bit of a weird combination I know) to introduce Don't Go Zombie! It is a flash game where you have to fight zombies with a ticket gun(?) and the background can be anywhere found using Google Street View. Cool idea for a game, but an even better idea for planning what to do in a zombie attack!!! You may mock now, but when you are all staggering about trying to eat people I will be sitting happily in my fortress playing Halo Reach and watching the Friends box set on a loop.

BRAAAAAAAINS here

Image of the day

Batman: Arkham City

Although not it seems (at the moment anyway) that the sequel to last year's Batman: Arkham Asylum is not a free roaming adventure of Gotham City, it doesn't stop me from getting uber excited for beating Catwoman and Two Face in the face(s)!

Halo: Retro Evolved

With the prequel to Halo: CE coming out next month, someone felt we needed a sort of hardware prequel; like a reverse remake if you catch my drift. A bit like what's happening with Goldeneye on the Wii. Yes there is no vehicles or music apart from the menu, but it is an awesome little time-waster and is well worth playing! Link(it's actually Master Chief) here: Halo 2600

THE PIRATES LIFES IS TEH LIFES 4 ME, LOLOLOL AND A BOTTEL OF WIN

Rule 1: Never talk about PC Gamerz

Who says video games are pointless!?? As you can see in the video above, these chubby chaps didn't put up the best of fights but it shows not to mess with us 'gamerz'!! Looks like those hours on UFC sort of payed off.

Stargate Universe Season 2

SGU season 2 is looking über awesome! Shooting stuff, Rush being a prick bag, Young punching stuff; whoa!! What!? Chloe isn't dead? Noooooooo!! [Sad Face] : (

StarCraft II

Fuck it

MMM, Forge world

Now that Mass Effect 2 has been out for a while, I feel it may be the time to pass the [dribble dribble] title on to a new game. With the announcement of Forge World, I feel it may be apt to introduce Halo: Reach as my new [dribble dribble] title!!! "Yeeeeey wooop wooop!!", Yes thanks Bungie, I know how much this means to you. Now, round to forge world essentialy one massive map with a variety of areas like a blood gulch-esque valley, a pillar of rock, some inside areas and many more. They've also added many editing features forge has simply been crying out for such as snap rotations, precision movements, the able to float objects without glitching and, my favorite ablity, the option to 'phase' objects i.e the ability to let a wall pass into a rock (like a ghost!). All awesome, however, one downside is that I now cannot use forge on Halo 3 without bashing my head against the wall.

Crackdown on those renegade orbs!

This shows what happens when an orb gets the better of a super powered agent, turst me, it's not pretty.

Nintend-to milk franchises-do

While Nintendo did deliver at e3 - compared to the other two consoles who either just waved their arms and danced a little or talked about a online service nobody really wants - it turns out they were all out of new properties and so just dumped a package containing a nostagalgia filled hour and a device that most people haven't actually seen working in its GLORIOUS 3D on our metaphorical doorsteps.
Well it turns out that they won't be getting new ips in very soon and if they did i'd probably miss them becuase i was out at the shops buying Kinectimals hoping that the new mauling mechanic adds some excitement to game that looks as thrilling as a rock with a face on it.
But don't despair, we will be getting some new Mario characters - woohoo!! Hopefully it will a variation of bullet bill so a can blow Kirby's cute fluffy brains all over his newly found yarn collection.

Deus Ex- blowing your mind since 2027

With an almost no show at E3 I was very dissapointed with Eidos. No Batman Arkham Asylum 2 trailer, no Thief 4 info and worst of all, no Deus Ex: Human Revolution footage. After showing that pre E3 trailer (which is fucking awesome by the way), you think they would of gave even 30 seconds of footage to mull over! Well, they must of seen their mistake and have released some sweet looking screenshots to appease us. And if you're wondering how they look so sweet,it is the fact the game is built using cryengine, yes the one from Crysis.

Microsoft Press Conference Rating: 1.FUCK YOU

After last year's press conference, we expected a friggin firestorm of games, what do we get? Games we already know about, a camp man and his friends dancing on stage and two middle aged women getting an adrenaline rush from an imaginary raft. Thanks microsoft. Thanks a Bunch.

I feel that offended I might file a complaint against myself to get kicked off xbox live.

Get KINECTed

This just in from Microsoft, Natal has a name change and is officially a gimmick. Project Natal is no more and "Kinectz (z optional)" is born, also out of the ashes a list of games was released including:

Kinectimals-lets you train and play with 20 different virtual cats, including a lion, cheetah and tiger (if the lion rips your face off then it may be interesting).
Joyride-a racing game letting players hold an imaginary steering wheel - pull your hands towards you and push back out for an acceleration boost - and their bodies to execute jumps and tricks (wow! this will be great for Mario Ka.....oh wait).
Kinect Sports-has six activities including boxing. bowling, beach volleyball, track and field, soccer and table tennis (boxing, a game when you can actually hit the person next to you in the face and score points!).
Kinect Adventures-includes a raft river time trial and an obstacle course, playable by up to four players (yep it can be played by four players, but who would want to?).
Dance Central-in development by MTV Games (oh god no, please no....well i guess we've found the most embarrassing moment at E3).
Star Wars-characters and iconic Disney favourites will be featured in seperate new games being developed at Microsoft in conjunction with LucasArts and Disney (maybe the only hope left in this list of horrors).

Well it's not off to a good start but we've only got a days wait until we learn the official line up of games, here is hoping for a gears of war game that lets you chainsaw through locust in a variety of patterns and shapes!

Like a Bat Out of Hell

This is what I'm like in bar fights, only more badass.

Everything's gone pete tong

Everything that is wrong with Modern Warfare 2 and it's overall community is embodied in this message

Deus Ex: Human Revolution

WOW, let's just hope it's there at E3!!

Don't get me wrong, i'm crossing me fingers that Natal won't be a flop and will be the future of gaming - duh duh de duh duh. Saying that, looking at this magazine writing testing the system out, it's not looking good.

Don't try this at home

Video Games | Blur | Freeze Trailer HD

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

In the event that you own an Audi R8, possess a high speed camera and have a red orb (of the heatseeking/carflipping variety), do not try this at home.

Nerka-nerka-stan?

With E3 only a little over week away, a new trailer from Square Enix has been leaked (luckly, a possible chinese tourist was taking a film of whatever they tend to film, happened to catch it all). The trailer shows that people who wear bluetooth headsets will have a more, lets say, useful place in the future - if you don't count looking like an idiot that is - by having the ability to control minds and make civilians do their dirty work, muahahahaha*cough*haha!

Killzone 3.....D?

When will this phase end? Look, even people with guns look stupid with 3D glasses on so how do you'll look when you're sitting wearing these playing killzone on your newly bought Sony 3D TV - yep, the heads of Sony are actually using piles of money for chairs now.

PPA: Powered Parenting Armour

Are you tired of your screaming baby? Do you keep getting food thrown in your face? Don't you just wish you could just have some sort of mega expensive powered exoskeleton? Well now you have the answer with JML's Powered Parenting Armour!! Features include: Energy shields to protect you from baby sick! Noise cancelling so you can ignore your screaming banshee of a baby! And the most important feature, the ability to shotput your little one 500m into the high chair. Buy now at www.iwishitwouldbequiet.com

*May now include added Kotick

Gravemind Kotick Infects Bungie

Now Bungie has fallen to Emperor Kotick ,it appears that no developer can escape the wrath of Activision. What the hell were they thinking? Did they see what happened to Infinity Ward? They are saying that they'll own the intellectual property of the next franchise but I can't see that happening. I fear that Activision will milk Bungie for every penny and make them into a corporate machine. A dark day for gaming indeed...

Fallout 2's Rejected "Childkiller" Icon

When the artist from fallout 2 was requested to draw a "childkiller" icon he knew there would be no way to keep it from being offensive, lucky they cut it from the game before the complaints rolled in.

Avatar Boogie!

Get you funk on with this newest xbox indie game.

Bungie's real SPARTAN II project

New evidence has arisen showing that game developer Bungie has begun it's own SPARTAN II project. Pictures have he been leaked showing clothes made for infants they have likely abducted to form their "seventh column" OF TERROR!

At least the bastards had the decency to include a whimsical pun to cheer the poor things up.

New Halo Reach Screenshot

A nice little image from a possible multiplayer map shown in the alpha RC.
Click on the image for a larger version.

Marcus and Dom in Lost Planet 2?

Oh dear, seems like silly Marcus and Dom from Gears of War have turned right at the emergence hole instead of left and have found themselves fighting an angry akrid instead of a slightly more angry brumak, this has left everyone in confusion and dom-curious of why they are exactly there.

Video can be seen here.

You may be the Riddler, BUT I'M BARRY SCOTT!

Though details on RockSteady's Batman 2 may be sketchy, I think I may have discovered something on the arkhamcare.com easter egg website from Batman:Arkham Asylum; on the site under seminars it says the next seminar is scheduled for 24th May at 3:00 PM. Though this could be just a little something to pad the site out, this could be an announcement for information or at least a new trailer (highly doubt it will be the game itself). Take this with a pinch of salt obviously but I couldn't be far off. So take the Riddler!! (or should it be ?? ?)

Battlefield Bad Company Demo

Retailer Game has listed that a demo will be available starting on February 4th and will apparently run for three weeks, however, no details have been confirmed by EA or Dice so we'll have to see. This is good news but what we really want to know is if there will be any quad bikes in the demo, then we'll be as happy as...as....as well, this guy.

Indiana Sheppard and the Normandy of Awesomeness

The 26th (or 29th if you live in Communist Britain) day of this wonderfull month will give rise to one of the best games this year. I haven't even played Mass Effect 2 yet and I can safely say that by the end of the year, the floor beneath me will disintegrating due to the sheer volume of drool I will produce. Stunning visuals, innovative gameplay and a hollywood class storyline will give both shooters and RPGs a run for their money this year. This is all over 2 disks of goodness and their even being good enough to release some FREE (yes you read it right) DLC straight away which means there was even more stuff they couldn't pack in, so they had to give it away!! Along with this, cool guy Garrus is coming back!! WITH EYEPIECE!!!! But I'm not looking forward to this game, not at all.

. . .END COMMUNICATION. . .

Modern Warfare DLC Update

Turns out the video below has been removed by Activisions request and has also been confirmed to be fake by fourzerotwo but for those who are interested so here's a few possibilities of the maps that were included.
A "Classic" map pack was mentioned including overgrown, crash, vacant, shipment and a few more.
While another pack was mentioned with brand spanking new maps called abandon, campact, complex, the white house, revolt and storm.

Modern Warfare 2 DLC?

Here's a video that may be legit, but who knows. All i know is that you want to turn down your sound before playing, unless you like bleeding ears.....

Comet: supporters of all things good

Comet has been announced to recieve the prestigous Nobel Common Sense Award this week when a boy entered one of their stores and asked about gaming laptops. The assistant enquired what games he would play to which the response was "Football Manager". At this point, God spoke to the assistant and used him as a conduit for the most truthful phrase known to mankind: "Football Manager? That's not a proper game". Alleluia.

Definitely Broken Warfare 2

Yep, weeks after releasing yet another patch the hackers have returned to Modern Warfare 2. This time the hack allows you to sprint like Usain Bolt on steroids (think halo with speed turned up to the max). We'll all be expecting a statement being released soon by Infinity Ward and hopefully they'll be able to get their act together and sort it out once and for all......hopefully.

DLC for MW2- When grannies attack

Similar to nazi zombies from WaW, Evil Grannies pits you up against a variety of different OAP's ranging from zimmer-frame mounted machine guns to mobiltity scooter tanks and even burly, Chernobyl mutated, beasts. The gameplay is very similar to that of Horde or Firefight where you and up to 3 friends can stop the 'nannagedon'. Infinity Ward's Robert 'I do everything not involving developement' Bowling stated, "We don't care if it's good we just want the money". Official trailer below.

My love for you is like a nuke.

Today, our very own Jamie Blyth earned his second tactical nuke leaving me in his dust with the grand total of... 0. And this time I was actually in the game to verify the nukey goodness, except I didn't see it cos I left but still!! This brings me to my new year's resolution (bit late i know): I will never, ever witness a nuke unless it's my own. Bit of an arsey statement I know but I want it to be a brand new moment with a big suprise at the end!! However this means i'll probably never see one ever so don't expect any posts on the experience.
FUCKING PRAWNS!!!

P.S well done Mr. Blyth!!

A Look At Modern Warfare 2

People say that a game is only as good as the leading man’s tash, so judging from Captain Price’s tash we all knew this game would be friggin’ awesome.

The campaign is a direct sequel and still follows Infinity Wards signature story telling. Each mission swaps from character to character and a mission briefing kicks off each level, but this time you get to shoot up some slightly more interesting places than just a generic “bombed city” – these includes arctic bases, the streets of Rio de Janeiro and in the Motherland. The varied landscape add more open land and changes how you can tackle each mission in comparison to call of duty 4 which only let you take a specific route. As an addition, a more film like approach is taken and as a result more scripted events are used to steer the story in the way intended and in the most dramatic way possible (eat your heart out Hollywood), so much so that the first time you get to unload some mags is in the Falvela mission at the end of act 1. The big bucks film approach is seen briefly in the first game (in the surreal moment when you watch your character die after being nuked) but Modern Warfare 2 expands it and doing so changes the way the game is played, so much so I was half expecting a director to interrupt and shout, “cut cut, we need more explosions” when I was fighting on the doorstep of the Whitehouse.

The story is good, but no matter how good it is, I never felt connected with the first two characters we are introduced to, “Roach” seems to be just a name and nothing more and when he eventually died I was more bothered about ghost because we all hoped that it was Gaz in disguise. Private Allen’s character was pointless, the album filler of the modern warfare world and the only purpose I can think of that he had was the “airport scene”, and even then that whole scene was not necessary, it didn’t make me hate Makarov, I didn’t make me think about the evil in the world, it just made me angry because I couldn’t f***ing run, what kind of terrorist can’t run? It could have just been a well put together cut-scene.

However, we can’t forget about two individuals who now seem to be Infinity Ward’s only connection to the player, Soap Mactavish and Captain friggin’ Price (oh we all thought he was dead but the tash lives on!). These two characters alone make this a great game and the levels in which you play as these two are the best in the game (just as in call of duty 4, the mission in Chernobyl were you played as Lieutenant Price and his Scottish CO Captain Macmillan is a brilliant level). Best described as the bromance of modern warfare, having Price at your side again gives you the feeling that your mate has your back, the two of you against world and yes, its not very realistic that two men can take down a full army but is it supposed to be? (and anyway, look me in the eyes and tell me that with a tash like that Price couldn’t do anything).

To wrap up, it’s a step backwards for realism but a step forward in the franchise and anyway, is it meant to be realistic? I know it’s supposed to be “modern warfare” but all the moments that are seen to be unrealistic make the game exciting and make you want to keep playing. If you want realistic go and play Operation Flashpoint, where you will moan about every shot killing you.

Next up multiplayer, and guess what? The six year olds will be happy to waste their lives on this one. Basically the online we know and love from cod 4 but with a few newly added features it’s a whole other game. The care packages change the gameplay dramatically, feeling like a boy on Christmas day, you’ll be patiently waiting to see what Father Christmas’ war torn cousin brings you and then brimming with joy when its an AC130 or thinking you’d rather have a stocking full of coal when you get a counter-UAV, awww.

The killstreaks also bring a more tactical approach to the game, trying to stay alive and get those kills for the likes of the AC130 or the tactical nuke but also working with your team to coordinate you killstreaks so that “Friendly UAV online” is not coming up every five seconds. Not only does working with your team to sort out your killstreaks pay off but because of the large number of aerial vehicles, making sure your team has someone with a stinger missile or a javelin really pays off too.

Also the infamous “noobs” of the gaming world will be over the moon as a full range of weapons, equipment and perks have been included just to piss everyone else off (some of them are even good). At this point I could go through one by one each one but thanks to the custom classes I can just share what I like to call the “noob” class (thanks infinity ward J);

Primary – Riot Shield

Secondary – Model 1887 (Akimbo)

Equipment – Throwing knives (gotta love the throwing knives)

Perks – Scrambler (why do people use this, if my UAV is scrambled I know you’re there, you’re just helping me!), light weight and marathon (unlimited sprint = more chances to model people = more chances to piss people off)

Death streak – Painkiller (argh! The pill of annoyance!)

But I have to say the most satisfying moment of multiplayer is not being MVP, not getting to the highest prestige and not even getting a tactical nuke, it’s shooting down the enemies Harrier, so simple and yet so fun.

Last but not least: Spec Ops. It works is a great addition to single player and a nice break from the hectic multiplayer and at first we all thought Infinity Ward had missed a trick by only allowing two player but playing it the two man team works perfectly - the level where one is in the AC130 and the other spotting is genius and would be ruined if anymore than two players were playing.